Today is going to be a much longer post than usual, but I am hoping someone can take something from this. I will be talking about two things: How women should better hold themselves and when you respect and honor your husband in a marriage the way God has instructed us to.
Now more than ever, I tend to see too much of women not respecting/loving themselves for what they are worth. What makes you beautiful is not the make up you put on, clothes you wear, exposing your body, talents etc. What makes you beautiful is the person that you are inside and that is who God created you to be. I think, a few of the worst things I ever did was try to gain peoples approvals, compare myself to other women and try to fit in constantly with what was “acceptable.” We are not meant to tear ourselves down or each other down. We are not meant to expose our bodies, because it does get attention, but not in a positive way. You do not have to show off your body to get recognition, you will be seen for how amazing you are without that.
Talking about comparison, it is so so easy to do. It is also very dangerous because when we start to continuously compare ourselves to others, we will no longer like any part of what we see in the mirror. I always wanted to fit in, be like other girls, wear the same clothes and have the same hair styles. This is so sad when I think about it now, because I was willing to trade in my originality for something else that was not meant for me. As I began to grow closer to my Father, He showed me that the reason it was so hard for me to fit in, was because I was never meant to fit in at all. I started to see that I was a daughter of The King. When we see ourselves as this, it really opens your eyes and allows you to grow nearer to Him and hold yourself in such a different way. I have no intention to shame anyone if they have felt any of the things I described. I felt them too, but what is important is that we stop feeling/doing them. BREAK THE CYCLE. You are beautiful, unique, special and original. Embrace that ALWAYS.
Now, regarding marriage. Please note, I am aware I’ve been only married for eight months and there are others who have been married for much much longer. I don’t consider myself an expert at all because I learn everyday, but I do want to share something special that I prayed/learned about before marrying Paul and during our marriage. For the longest time, (six years) I have always known I wanted to marry Paul and felt I was. He is an incredible man that God blessed me with, I could never find a more perfect person for me. I honor my husband, and give him his rightful place as head of the marriage/household. I think this is important because for one, it was what God designed a marriage to be like.
“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” Ephesians 5:23
I do not see putting my husband in this place degrading in any way, the way I see it is that as I put myself under him I am in the same way putting myself under the Father because He is above us both. I know that some women are afraid or hesitant to this, they don’t want to lose control or they’re afraid that trust will be broken. Unfortunately, if anyone views marriage or a relationship in a way of control, then you’re already going into it negatively. Control shouldn’t be the main focus, God, love and trust should. If you are not married, in a relationship or not in one yet, I highly encourage you to pray for your spouse. I was told this by a very special person and it is such a great thing to do. Pray that the Father prepares you for marriage when it comes, that He prepares you to be the wife you need to be, daughter to Him, and to bless and guide your future husband. I know that what’s most important is having God at the center. When He is your foundation, no matter what you may encounter, He will keep you both grounded and strong. I know from having Him as the center, we love and respect one another. We appreciate one another and encourage one another with His word, we strive to be grounded always in Christ, in that way we are to model the same to our future children and others around us. Love is an amazing thing, Gods love surpasses it all. I pray that this was a help to someone, maybe they could relate, or even pass it on to someone else. God bless you all, you’re incredible, beautiful and have a loving Father that never gets tired of pursuing you!